What a Difference a Year Makes

I couldn't help but think about John last night and what a difference a year makes in your life. Last year at this time we were just starting our romantic relationship after a few months of being friends. I stupidly thought that I had finally met someone that 'completed' me. So many of the same interests but yet was able to teach me about things I didn't know - I loved being challenged mentally by him. Our long conversations about politics and finance or just the random things I knew that I could teach him.

He actually drove all night on Thanksgiving so that he could be home to see me for less than 24 hours before he went on a trip to Costa Rica. Man, life was so exciting. What is so confusing to me, after those first few months, I could see the love grow in his eyes and by the way he touched me. Of course, I also could see the walls that he was putting up between us so that he wouldn't get too close.

I remember right before our relationship ended the first time (yep, I will never again allow myself to be able to say 'ended the first time,' ladies there is a reason there was a first time, don't let there be a second) where he was mentioning buying some furniture for a spare room. I made a couple suggestions on where to go and he snapped 'I know what I want and I don't need your help.' OK then, this was because the night before he HAD to see me and waited around at work until I was done with my plans. That was too close for comfort. The icing on this story? The day after he snapped at me he called me to ask my opinion on some furniture he was looking at. Really? I thought you didn't need my help a-hole.

I don't know why this still hurts so much. I really thought I was moving past it but lately my dreams have been so full of him. Thankfully I am actually going out and meeting some others so I have distractions. All I can do at this point is let time go by and the healing to be complete. Thankfully I have resisted any urge to contact him and I know it will be difficult on T-day and Christmas but I have to be strong.

As usual, @ihatequotes sums up how I try to look at this situation with a couple of gems:

"Sometimes you have to give up on someone. Everyone in your journey is meant to be in your journey, but not everyone is meant to stay there."

"Stop worrying about people who aren't in your life anymore. There's a good reason they didnt make it. Keep moving!"

"It's better to be single but happy rather than to be with someone who does nothing while you're doing everything."

Also a good person to follow is @GirlPosts

"Sometimes the people you love most leave. They leave because they're scared they might love you back."

"If hes dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go."

"Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get, but in the end what you get is so much better than what you had wanted."

Great Quotes

A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman with a brain is an absolutely lethal combination. -Prabal Gurung

Great Celebrity Quote

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton

What a fantastic way to look at something. If you get everything you want without a little discomfort, do you ever really enjoy it?

Who hasn't ever done this?

"Sometimes, we acted like it wasn't a big deal, when really, it was breaking our hearts."

Thanks @girlsdeals

Currently Listening To...

I'm Satisfied
John Hiatt (video is the Mississppi John Hurt version, you have to find teh John Hiatt, it is amazing...)

Great song and I can't to find a man who feels this way about me. It will happen and this is what we should all aspire to have...



I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back
I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back

First in the country, then in the town, I'm a total shaker from my navel on down
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back
I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back

I pull my dress to my knees. (1) I give my too-ga-loo to who I please
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back
I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back

I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back
I'm satisfied, tickled too, old enough to marry you
I'm satisfied it's gonna bring you back

Video courtesy of You Tube

Lyrics courtesy of Lyrics Pond

Quotes To Live By

One of my coworkers posted this today and it was too brillant not to share...

Write….or don’t. Just find someway to leave a trace of your red blood cells on something worth picking up.

Learn to love. We are built for it. Even if sometimes it seems like our wires are crossed..

Laugh. Like you left something. A penny or something not worth bending down for but beautiful enough to see the significance in the pin drop..

Cry. As if your tears are run way models. You just dressed them in your life’s work. And you can’t wait to show the world their grace..

Great Quotes

Found another great quote today:

"Being single doesn't mean we're weak. It means we're strong enough to wait for what we deserves."

Thanks @girlsdeals

Quotes to Live By

This is another great quote brought to you by @ihatequotes

"Sometimes I expect more from others because I would be willing to do that much for them."

Currently Listening To...

I was at the So You Think You Can Dance tour on Tuesday night and during this number, I realized that the lyrics reminded me of how I felt in the relationship with John.

I think we can all identfy with a relationship making you feel this way. Just keep on trucking and find the next one!

Great Performance, Great Lyrics....

Fool of Me
Me'Shell Ndegéocello



Full Lyrics:

I remember when you filled my heart with joy
was I blind to the truth, just there to fill the space?
cause now, you have no interest in anything that I have to say
and I've allowed you to make me feel
(I feel so dumb)
what kind of fool am I?
you so easily set me aside

CHORUS
you made a fool of me
tell me why
you say that you don't care, but
we made love, tell me why
you made a fool of me
you made a fool of me

I want to kiss you
does she want you with the pain that I do?
I can smell you in my dreams
and now that we're face to face, you won't look me in the eye
no time, no friendship, no love
you say don't touch you
I can't touch you no more
can't touch you anymore, anymore

CHORUS
you made a fool of me
tell me why, tell me why
you say that you don't care, but
we made love, tell me why
you made a fool of me
tell me why
you made a fool of me
tell me why
(tell me why

Video courtesy of You Tube

Lyrics courtesy of Smart Lyrics

Currently Listening To...

I was just talking to a friend about a guy she dated (another wolf in sheep's clothing) and he made her feel like she wasn't good enough. At least that is what she is telling me...

I think that she is making herself feel not good enough. She has it all, she just has to let herself see that. And let's not forget that really these guys were the ones who were not good enough for us!

Freckles
Natasha Bedingfield



Full Lyrics:

I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn't have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt
But that was a while ago
This girl has got stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself don't worry any longer it's OK

[Chorus:]
'cause a face without freckles is like a sky without stars
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are

Who you are
Who you are
Who you are

I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
Would the whole world fall at my feet?
I felt unworthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I still feel like the little girl who doesn't belong in her own world
But I'm getting better
And I'm reminding myself

[Chorus]

Reflecting who you are
Reflecting who you are
Hmmm
Whoooooo whoa hmmmm oooooo

[Chorus]

Reflecting who you are

Video from YouTube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Status Update

While I realize you are a total asshole...

I am more mad at myself for not seeing the person you really are and allowing myself to fall in love with the person I thought you were...

I guess love really is blind.

Thankfully I finally opened my eyes.

Currently Listening to...

Having an Eric Clapton morning and 'Wonderful Tonight' came on. This is how I want my man to feel about me. What a fantastic song.

If you have not read 'Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me' by Pattie Boyd, you need to pick it up. Has the story of how Wonderful Tonight was written among many other Harrison and Clapton favorites!



Full Lyrics:

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Video courtesy of You Tube

Lyrics courtesy of AZ Lyrics

Currently Listening To...

All day at the office I have my iTunes on shuffle so that it can loop spontaneously through the 16k songs I have. Every now and then, a lyric will jump out at me and make me think of what I am going to or I will relate it to how I am feeling. This just happened...

One More Girl
The Wreckers



Full Lyrics:

I took off my iron smile babe
Cause I felt it weighed me down
tomorrow when the world wakes up I
'll be in another town

You don't know what you want
at this moment could be me
You move your hand across my knee
turn me into some novelty

(Chorus)
I guess I'm one more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got stuffed in some jeans
It's one more day that you don't find true love
because you don't know what it means
yeah, yeah

Did you ever take the time to
think about who I might be?
Where I've been, what I'm thinking
who I love what I've seen

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
oh yeah

One more car out on the road there
you might pass on your way home
Someone's sister, someones wife or
just some bitch who's probably got no life.

Yes I'm

(chorus)
one more girl on the stage,
just one more ass that got stuffed in some jeans.
And it's one more day that you don't find true love
because you don't know what it means yeah.

One day we'll be a pile of ashes
For the rest of time it passes
So take your hand off my knee
Do you know what it means to be

(chorus)
one more girl on the stage,
just one more ass that got stuffed in some jeans.
And it's one more day that you don't find true love
because you don't know what it means yeah.

Video courtesy of YouTube

Lyrics from Cowboy Lyrics

Quotes to live by...

Thanks to one of my favorite twitter artists @ihatequotes retweeting @girlsdeals I have found another great place for quotes!

Here are the gems from today:

"My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you, it was thinking you'd fallen for me too."

"The best revenge you could ever do to the person who broke your heart, is to just let them see that you're happy without them."

"I don't want to live my life alone, but I also won't settle for someone who makes me feel like I'm alone when I'm with them."

"If a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. If he thinks he wants you, nothing can make him stay away."

"Slow to trust but quick to love, push too hard and give too much. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I promise I'm worth it."

And just because he makes me happy....



Photo courtesy of PhotoBucket

Quotes courtesy of @girlsdeals

Yep, I am ANGRY

Finally realizing how angry I am - angry at myself for allowing him to treat me that way and at him for treating me that way...

I think for so long I didn't want to be wrong about what type of guy you really are, but you know - you are just a wolf in sheep's clothing. The fact that you have deluded yourself to think anything different just goes to show how fucked up you really are.

What a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had the self esteem when we were first dating to stick by my original thought that you weren't good enough if you flubbed NYE. Which you did. Especially after you were the one who asked what we were doing. I just don't understand how you could treat me the way you did when we were together and have NO feelings.

Thankfully I have seen the light and I am working on moving past it. I really hope I can move past the anger I have at myself for being such an idiot. I figure the first step is admitting it.

First step - check.

For the record, I totally feel like Richard Gere in the bathtub Pretty Woman style...

Time For a Change

My behavior this weekend really disappointed myself but more importantly has potentially done some irreversable damage to a very important relationship in my life. Waking up on Sunday and feeling the way I did, I realized it was time to really make that change.

I obviously have many unresolved feelings from the whole John 'relationship' that I really haven't allowed myself to explore or admit are there. There is a lot of anger hidden right underneath the surface and instead of dealing with it in a productive way and trying to work past it, I lashed out at one of my best friends this weekend with ridiculous, drunken behavior. The worst part is I have NO idea of what I said but I know I have had a night like this before and it was NOT pretty.

Now I was completely hormonal, but that is no excuse to act the way I did and to make the bad decisions that I made. All I know is that it is time to make a change to some of the destructive behavior I have been allowing myself to engage in. No more drinking at home by myself. Creating a limit to what I drink when out watching football or hanging out with friends. Finally making the therapy appointment that I so badly need and getting my butt back to working out.

I have been wanting to make a positive change and I hate that it has taken me hitting close to rock bottom to actually be committed to making the change.

Hopefully my friend will be able to forgive me and we will be able to work past this episode. I can only pray that the strong bond that we have forged over the last 5 years will help to ensure this happens.

Thankfully I just got an email and my friend accepted my apology!!!!

Currently Listening To...

Brand New Day - Joshua Radin

I know I haven't had a status update in a few weeks, but just know this song is where I am leaning. I hope to get an update on here today or tonight!



Full Lyrics:
Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down at me
And bathes me in its light.

I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass.
When I woke the world was new.
I never had to ask.

It's a brand new day.
The sun is shinning.
It's a brand new day.
For the first time in such a long, long time
I know I'll be okay.

Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last.
And most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your past.
Yeah, you make your past your past.

It's a brand new day.
The sun is shinning.
It's a brand new day.
For the first time in such a long, long time
I know I'll be okay.

This cycle never ends.
Gotta fall in order to mend.

It's a brand new day.
It's a brand new day.
For the first time in such a long, long time
I know I'll be okay.

Video Courtesy of You Tube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Currently Listening To...

Why Georgia Why
John Mayer

When I lived in California, I loved listening to this song. There was something about it that made me think of home. Everytime I heard the first line, I was transported there....



I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Shoe Porn

I found these bad boys at Bloomies for about $59 at Mall of America. Mine are tan but the gray ones are hot too!



You can find them at Zappos.

Great Quotes

Hey blog readers! I know I have been away for a few days and I promise to post some updates shortly. In the meantime, please enjoy this great status update my friend Abby left on her facebook page. I think it is something that we should all live by!

"I might not be someone's first choice, but I am a great choice. I may not be rich but I am valuable. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today. I may not be perfect but I don't need to be. Take me as I am, or watch me as I walk away."

Have a fantastic Wednesday!

A Silent Day at the Office

It has been a little sad not hearing the ding and receiving a fun text from John. However, I know this is the right thing. And I am happier for getting him out of my life. He isn't a bad guy, just obviously not the right one for me.

Retail Therapy

I was lucky to have had a half day at work planned on Friday and then an afternoon of shopping with my mom. The reatil therapy was a great thing for me and it made me feel a sense of confidence about my body too.

I have recently lost some weight and while I knew I had, I didn't know how much better things would fit me when I went to get some new clothes.  There were times I couldn't believe how tiny I looked compared with how I was a year ago.  Not only did it give me confidence that I think will translate great going forward, it gave me the desire to head back to the gym and start hitting it hard again.  I have been slack due to allowing myself to be disappointed and unhappy with a relationship.  No longer peeps! 

Since I believe that there isn't nothing that can't be fixed by finding a great pair of shoes, I will leave you with a little shoe porn....

I found this great pair of DKNY shows for under $30.  What a steal since they are still $78 on Zappos! 


I also got these amazing Enzo's for about $18 - they are on Zappos for $71.53.  Loving the good bargins that they had a Macys Friday! 



I also got another pair of cute Steve Madden wedges that I wore out last night with my Will -Jordan. 

I can't wait to start getting out and about town in all of my new duds.  It really seemed like I was meant to be shopping on Friday and I was long overdue for some new clothes.  Now I have a goal to lose about 20 more lbs and I am going to allow myself to buy some designer jeans. 

Onward and Upward! 

It's a New Day, but it still hurts...

So I finally did it, I think I might have known how Custer felt...

Last night I decided that I was going to be disappointed for the last time. All of his selfishness is no longer my problem. How did I allow myself to look past all of the bad things about this man? Why did I allow myself to think I was in love with someone who clearly isn't the right fit for me?

Doesn't mean that it hurts any less today though.

It was nice to wake up and know that something was gone from my life that had been making me miserable more than it was being enjoyable. That said, when it was enjoyable, it was damn enjoyable.

Now I know I just need to move forward and I can't allow myself to go backwards again. I didn't realize how much of my self respect I would gain back by uttering these 2 simple words: Get Out.

I even deleted our Streak for the Cash group. Next up is the phone number and the texts, eventually the email. I gave him back everything that he ever gave to me, no sense in having it around the house to remind me.

Fingers crossed I meet a good man that realizes what he has in front of him.

Status Update

It is very hard to let go of something you think you want so badly. When I am not around him, I think rationally and realize that the situation isn't good enough for me. I want more. Then I make the mistake and see him, there is too much fun and chemistry. I fall back into the trap, time to take control and just say no.

I saw this from @ihatequotes on Twitter this morning:

"The good side of Goodbye is I can start a new beginning, and create a better ending. Stay positive!"

And I think this is how I need to start looking at my situation. Saying goodbye is going to suck for a bit but in the long run, I do want a better ending. Not only do I want it, I deserve it.

I am going to have to be strong, but I can do it.

Quotes To Live By

If someone wants to be in your life, they will work to be a part of it. So don’t bother saving a spot for someone who won’t...

If things are meant to happen, it will happen. Just be happy and expect less so that in the end, you'll be able to stand again...

Relationship is about taking risks. Risk of missing and being missed, and risk of hurting and being hurt...

I forgive myself and understand that I'm the only one who's responsible for every situation in my life....

Relationships or friendships are worth fighting for, but not if I am the only one fighting...

Like these quotes? Follow @ihatequotes on twitter!

Quotes To Live By

One of my FB friends posted this today - I think it is a great sentiment...

"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

Currently Listening To...

Who Says
Selena Gomez & The Scene

Don't judge, I really like the song. Great message...



I wouldn't wanna be anybody else
hey

[Verse 1]
You made me insecure,
Told me I wasn’t good enough.
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough?
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself.
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C'mon

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty?
Who says you're not beautiful?
Who says?

[Verse 2:]
It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you
You tell ‘em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth
It’s like a work of art
That never gets to see the light
Keep you beneath the stars
Won’t let you touch the sky

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C'mon

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty?
Who says you're not beautiful?
Who says?

[Bridge:]
Who says you’re not star potential?
Who says you’re not presidential?
Who says you can’t be in movies?
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don’t pass the test?
Who says you can’t be the best?
Who said, who said?
Won’t you tell me who said that?
Yeah, who said?

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you're not perfect? (Yeah)
Who says you're not worth it? (Yeah yeah)
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'? (Ooooh)
Trust me, that's the price of beauty (Hey yeah, beauty)
Who says you're not pretty? (Who said?)
Who says you're not beautiful? (I'm just beautiful me)
Who says?

Who says, Who says, you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?

[Chorus:]
Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty?
Who says you're not beautiful?
Who says?

Who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurtin'?
Trust me, (yeah) that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty? (Who says you're not beautiful?)
Who says?

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Currently Listening To...

Stay
Sugarland



Full Lyrics:

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Quotes to live by

It's not about who hurt and broke me down, it's about who was always there and made me smile again.

Currently Listening To...

Wiser Time by The Black Crowes



Full Lyrics:

No time left now for shame
Horizon behind me, no more pain
Windswept stars blink and smile
Another song, another mile
You read the line every time
Ask me about crime in my mind
Ask me why another read song
Funny but I bet you never left home
[Chorus:]
On a good day, I know it's not every day
We can part the sea
And on a bad day, I know it's not every day
Glory beyond our reach
14 Seconds until sunrise
Tired but wiser for the time
Lightning 30 miles away
Three thousand more in two days
[Chorus]

Video courtesy of You Tube

Lyrics courtesy of Sing 365

Great Article!

Just found this amazing article at HelloGiggles.com:

http://hellogiggles.com/8-steps-to-beat-the-break-up-blues

Now that I am about to be Johnless once more, I think it is going to become my breakup bible. The best thing is that I have slowly been getting rid of the excess and was already planning on doing a home makeover on Sunday.

I was doing pretty well last time with these steps until you got to 5 and 6. It is definitely in my best interest to make sure he is completely out of my life. That is going to be the only way I will really move on and can stop having the delusions he is going to realize what he let go. What a loser.

Currently Listening To...

Everybody by Keith Urban



Full Lyrics:

So here you are now, nowhere to turn
It's just the same old yesterday
And you made a promise to yourself
That you were never gonna be this way
And the only thing that you've ever known is to run
So you keep on driving faster into the sun

Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

Don't have to find your own way out
You gotta voice, let it be heard
Just when it feels you're on a dead end road
There's always somewhere left to turn

So don't give up now
You're so close to a brand new day
Yes, you are and if you just can bear to be alone
I'll stay

Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes

Well, maybe I been too caught up to see
What you've been going through and all that I can say is

Oooo, yeah

And everybody needs somebody sometimes
Yeah, everybody needs somebody sometimes
Everybody needs somebody sometimes
A little left to save
Everybody needs somebody sometimes
Gotta have someone beside you
Gotta have someone beside you
Yes, ya do, yes, ya do
Everybody, everybody needs somebody sometimes

Video courtesy of YouTube

Lyrics courtesy of AZ Lyrics

Status Update

I think maybe my eyes are opening for the first time...Do I even want to try and get confirmation for what I am thinking? Woke up this morning to a dream that I can only describe as my sub-concious telling me something that I think I have always known but did not want to admit. How could I be so wrong about the kind of person I thought you were? Maybe I am jumping to conclusions but I hope it is just my head telling my heart that it has to take the blinders off...

Maybe this goodbye will also be a good riddance. Fingers crossed...

Status Update

Time to move on
Time to move past the hurt
Time to understand you will never know why or why not
Time to realize the greatness you have inside you
Time to realize that things won't change
Time to realize that he is the one missing out
Time to stop wondering what he is doing when he isn't with you
Time to stop caring about it
Time to quit allowing the tears, he isn't worth it
Time to realize that you are better than what you are getting
Time to make a stand
Time to say goodbye....

Status Update

I know I haven't written in awhile and that is because while things are going well, I know I am currently making decisions I don't need to be making.

That said, I just can't stop!

I have been hanging out with John not quite weekly but enough and we have such a good time. While my head knows that nothing is going to change, it doesn't mean that sometimes I don't let me heart think it is going to.

I am also afraid that if I keep it up I might lose some friends in my life over it and we all know it is Ho's before Bro's! It is so easy for others to look at a situation and make the 'right' decision when they aren't in it. What can you do? I am an adult and my friends should know enough to trust me that I do understand what is going on. Does that mean that I am not going to get hurt again? No. Am I aware this is a possibility? Yes. Do I hope they will be around to help me through it? Yes. If not, that is their decision.

Anyway, I think I am getting close to realizing that the relationship (even as friends) is not good for me and I will be moving on. I just gotta get it out of my system...

Currently Listening To...

I am thinking about making this my new theme song:

Bruised But Not Broken
Joss Stone



Full Lyrics:


Been alot that I've been through
I cried a tear a time or two
Baby, you know I cried some over you, yeah
Had my heart kicked to the ground
Love ripped me up and tore me down, baby

But that ain't enough to break me
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll dust the pain off my heart

[CHORUS]
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

Been alot of tears stained nights
I thought the tears were here for life, baby
The hurt came on and held on tight, yeah
Took a chance, I took a fall
Love broke my heart and shattered all my dreams
But I won't be down on my knees
Cuz I'll rise above it
And I'll pick myself up
And I'll shake the rain out of my heart

[CHORUS]
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

Gonna pick my heart up
Take my life back
Shake the hurt away
Pull myself together, put the pieces back in place
I learned love's so hard
Love left my soul scarred
I was shattered inside

[CHORUS]
And I'll be alright
And I'll love again
And the wounds will mend
I'm bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I'll get back on my feet
It's not the end of me
My heart is still open
I'm bruised but not broken

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Great Quotes

"You dont need to justify or explain your dreams. They belong to you."

- Paulo Coelho


"Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had."
-Unknown

Currently Listening To...

This Katy Perry song spun into rotation this afternoon and I can't help but think this is how I am going to feel when I finally start dating someone else and it gets physical...

Thinking of You
Katy Perry



Full Lyrics:

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from