It is amazing the perspective you can get on a past relationship and your feelings when you spend time around someone who really finds you amazing. Yesterday I went to the Braves game with Sam. I have known Sam for over 15 years, the first 10 years we were very good friends and then when I got back from LA, we decided to start dating. Needless to say, there were many issues and in the end we really just didn't work out.
It has been a little difficult the last 2.5 years to keep our friendship intact. I know I had unresolved feelings, some of them thinking that maybe he was my last chance. One good thing that has come out of the relationship with John is that I realized I really didn't have romantic feelings for Sam and at that same time he contacted me and said he really missed our friendship.
Anyway, I know that I am going around my ass to get to my elbow here, but I wanted to give a little bit back story.
So, yesterday he picked me up and we headed to Turner Field. At first there was a little bit of awkwardness because we had not seen each other in about a year. However, we soon fell into very easy communication. It is amazing how much Sam likes to build me up. From telling me how amazing I look, to knowing exactly what type of music I like, etc.
With John, I always felt like he was judging me in a negative way. Like I wasn't good enough from him - now I just realize that he was not good enough for me. The last couple of weeks have been a real eye opener about the relationship I had with him. We communicate and even over texts, he says things I feel just tear me down a bit. Last night we were texting and I decided to give him a quick call - he sent me straight to voice mail. Seriously, you don't want to have a 5 minute conversation about scotch, fine.
I woke up this morning with a great sense of release. I think I can say that I am truthfully over wanting anything romantic with John. I feel better than I have in a LONG time, we are talking years. I have no regrets at all, because I can honestly say so many good things came out of the relationship.
Upward and onward folks!
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