Feelings

I would have given you everything I had, then I would have figured out how to give you more...

For some laughs...

This guy I work with just posted this to his facebook:

Forelsket: ‎(Norwegian) The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love

I asked him:

so....what is norwegian for 'you use to be in love but now you think the guy is an asshat'

I think he is still laughing...

Inspirational!

What an amazing story - Paralyzed bride walks down the aisle....

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/paralyzed-bride-jennifer-darmon-walks-at-wedding-24948127

Currently Listening To...

Joshua Radin - Brand New Day

Couldn't have said it better myself. I love these kinds of days when you find yourself smiling for no reason - then a great song like this comes on and perfectly matches your mood...



Full Lyrics:

Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down on me
And bathes me in it's light

I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass
When I woke the world was new
I never had to ask

It's a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It's a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I'll be ok

Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last
Most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your passed

Ya you make your past your passed

It's a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It's a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I'll be ok

This cycle never ends
You gotta fall in order to mend

And it's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
For the first time
Inn such a long long time
I know
I'll be ok

Video from You Tube

Lyrics from Metro Lyrics

Great Quotes

Saw 2 great quotes on some art this weekend at Dogwood...

My new motto:
"It is never too late for happily ever after."

And one of my personal favorites:

"When words fail, music speaks"

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend! I am sure I will post more later since I have been so MIA.

K

Delusional Deep Thoughts...Not by Jack Handy

This week I was lucky to be introduced to a new band called The Civil Wars (Ironically, they released the album on the anniversary of the start of the Civil War - branding at its best peeps!).

I like to put my iTunes on recently added and just let it run through all of the new music I have recently purchased, ripped, borrowed from someone else...This morning 'I Want You Back' by The Civil Wars came on and immediately I started listening to the lyrics...

When I had you to myself
I didn't want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch
One glance was all it took
Now it's much too late for me to go and take a second look

Oh baby give me one more chance
Won't you please let me in your heart
Oh darling I was blind to let you go
Now that I see you in his arms
I want you back
I want you back
I want you back

Trying to live without your love
Is like one long sleepless night
Let me show you boy
That I really know, I know wrong from right
Cause every street you're walking on
You leave tear stains on the ground
Follow boy, I didn't even want
Didn't even want you around

Oh baby give me one more chance
To show you I love you
Won't you please let me in your heart
Oh darling I was blind to let you go
Let you go baby
Now that I see you in his arms
Oh now that I see you in his arms
I want you back
I want you back
I want you back

Well - if this isn't the things that everyone woman has wanted a man to say to them after I break up - I would be amazed...

Here it is for your listening pleasure!

Currently Listening To...

Last week I was happily surprised when I saw 'More Dirty Dancing' sitting on a co-workers desk. I promptly ripped that into my iTunes and I am now enjoying the fruit of my labor:



Cari - this song totally makes me think of you!

I Should Take My Own Advice

I just said this to a good friend regarding a horrible relationship that she has been in for 3 years. And I use 'being in the relationship' lightly...

"None of the past matters
None of it is ever going to be changed
You just have to realize you need to move on to a new future
And unfortunately it won't be with him"

I think I need to live by my own sage advice. Today I have had a pretty horrific day at the office, just issues popping up left and right. Then my sister pretty much lit into my over IM from something that was 6 months ago - really?

Naturally it made me think how nice it would have been to have John come over to coddle me. How it was too bad we weren't dating anymore. What a waste of a thought...

Currently Listening To...

This Indigo Girls song just popped up and while I reached this point a couple of weeks ago, I found the lyrics very fitting...




Last Tears
Indigo Girls

These are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
My cryin's through I'm moving on
I don't regret and won't forget
A single thing that we went through
But there are the last tears I'm gonna cry for you
You take things so much easier than I do
And you could live your life without me if you had to
And you believe that in the end it all works out right
And I might if not for you
And if you ask one which one lives just alone for love
I do
There was a time when all signs pointed to the warm south
The planets all lined up and built a new house
And everything we talked about felt like a prophecy
And when you looked at me they all came true
And if you asked which one wants to go the distance
I do
I'm gonna rack my mind one last time until I cannot think
I'm gonna dip into your memory and take a good stiff drink
And when I'm drunk on the last drop of sadness about how we went wrong
I'm gonna play this song
Make some coffee black and strong
Give thanks for healing time
And finally make up my mind

Lyrics from AZ Lyrics

Video from You Tube

A Whole New World

I woke up this morning, refreshed and ready to tackle the day. The only upsetting thing is that I did think it was Wednesday and then I realized it was Tuesday...

Anyway, I feel like a whole new world is about to open up to me. I have been able to reconnect with old friends over the last couple of months, make some great new friends and as always keep the closest ones close.

Getting back to running has made me feel great, I love waking up in the morning and feeling that my muscles have been worked. The spin class April and I found is amazing and now I just need to make sure to add some weight training and yoga into the mix. It is great to feel like you have some more choices in your closet because things are fitting better. Just gotta keep up the good work...

This weekend marks the start of 'Festival Season' in Atlanta and I am ready to get out there and check out the art, the bands playing and of course hopefully scope out some hotties! This weekend Sarah and I will be hitting the Sweetwater 420 Fest and then Sunday Melaney and I are planning on Dogwood!

Oh - did I mention I am also pretty much kickin' it at the office?

Let me leave you with a little gem from the Disney classic Aladdin...

Status Report

It is amazing the perspective you can get on a past relationship and your feelings when you spend time around someone who really finds you amazing. Yesterday I went to the Braves game with Sam. I have known Sam for over 15 years, the first 10 years we were very good friends and then when I got back from LA, we decided to start dating. Needless to say, there were many issues and in the end we really just didn't work out.

It has been a little difficult the last 2.5 years to keep our friendship intact. I know I had unresolved feelings, some of them thinking that maybe he was my last chance. One good thing that has come out of the relationship with John is that I realized I really didn't have romantic feelings for Sam and at that same time he contacted me and said he really missed our friendship.

Anyway, I know that I am going around my ass to get to my elbow here, but I wanted to give a little bit back story.

So, yesterday he picked me up and we headed to Turner Field. At first there was a little bit of awkwardness because we had not seen each other in about a year. However, we soon fell into very easy communication. It is amazing how much Sam likes to build me up. From telling me how amazing I look, to knowing exactly what type of music I like, etc.

With John, I always felt like he was judging me in a negative way. Like I wasn't good enough from him - now I just realize that he was not good enough for me. The last couple of weeks have been a real eye opener about the relationship I had with him. We communicate and even over texts, he says things I feel just tear me down a bit. Last night we were texting and I decided to give him a quick call - he sent me straight to voice mail. Seriously, you don't want to have a 5 minute conversation about scotch, fine.

I woke up this morning with a great sense of release. I think I can say that I am truthfully over wanting anything romantic with John. I feel better than I have in a LONG time, we are talking years. I have no regrets at all, because I can honestly say so many good things came out of the relationship.

Upward and onward folks!

Currently Listening To...

Van Halen - Right Now

What a fantastic song! I know there are some VH purists who only like the David Lee Roth years, but I think the Hagar years produced some damn good tracks!



Right Now Lyrics


Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
Build up, and stand in our way. Oh

One step ahead, one step behind it
Now ya gotta run to get even
Make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
Come on turn, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Miss a beat, you lose a rhythm
An nothin' falls into place. No!
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace. Oh!

The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for another
Workin' so hard to make it easy
Whoa, got to turn. Come on, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey, it's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) catch that magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Said a lie to me
Right now
What are ya waitin' for? Oh! Yeah!
Right now

(Guitar Solo)

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch that magic moment
And do it right, right now (Right now)
Oh, right now!

It's what's happening
Right here and now
Right now, it's right now
Oh!
Tell me, what are ya waitin' for?
Turn this thing around

Status Update

Will my heart ever stop leaping when I hear the ding of the text?

So annoying...

Discipline

Discipline can be a funny thing - some days you have more than you know what to do with it and other days it is so hard to even make yourself stick to the simplest of plans.

I have found that from this break up, I have been able to translate my discipline of not contacting John (and yes, I have 'failed' this a couple of times) into other areas of my life as well.

The first thing that it has greatly impacted is my diet and exercise. I find myself making much better food decisions and making myself head to the gym. I don't always make the right decision (the Zaxby's I had for lunch on Monday is coming to mind) but I always make sure to make adjustments in my food for the rest of the day or adding extra exercise to balance it out.

Best Part: the weight loss I have experienced in the last month. It just keeps me motivated to continue on the path I am on and in some ways makes me want to kick it even more into overdrive to see results that much faster.

One of the most helpful tools that I have been using is Livestrong My Plate. You can sign up for free and with some quick calculating determine your daily calorie count for the weight loss goal you want to obtain. You can then track all the food you eat and the exercise you get in for the day.

In my opinion, the best part about calculating calories while you are trying to lose weight is learning portion control. This also makes you realize that you might have been overeating. I find that what seems to be working for me is a protein shake for breakfast, a light lunch, at least 2 snacks and veggies/chicken for dinner.

I have also cut out cokes (for the most part) and I have really cut back on the amount of alcohol that I have been drinking. It is amazing what those empty calories can do to sabotage your weight loss.

Anyway - if you are trying to lose weight or even get a better diet, I hope this has been helpful!

Currently Listening To...

I should have posted this yesterday....

Status Update

For the most part, things are really starting to look up for me and I am moving on with my life. I just wish I could stop thinking about how I miss John. Honestly, looking back I can say that the relationship did not fulfill me and that I ignored the red flags that I saw throughout because I wanted it to work.

I really liked him so I lead with my heart and I don't regret it. Do I still fantasize that he will come back around to tell me that he realizes that his life was better with me in it - of course. However, the more I think about it, the more I would hope that I would politely decline to have him back romantically in mine.

Why I have been giving this so much thought, I have no idea - I know that he is NEVER going to say anything remotely close to the delusion above, but here are the reasons...

1. He would seriously have to be open to there being a future in the relationship and (wait for it) a commitment. I think even typing the word would probably give him heart palpitations.

2. Sometimes I think maybe he has a slightly derogatory view of women by some of his comments. Most recently he made some crap comment about how the decision making in women was ridiculous. This was because I mentioned I had picked the Rangers to beat the BoSox because CJ Wilson was pitching and he amused me on Twitter. Then he even went so far to ask me which color uniform I liked better. Don't even get me started on his comments about women drivers (though I do agree that many of them suck the big one).

3. I just don't think he is the man for me. I have to wonder if he even knows what love is or has ever been in love. I want someone that thinks I am the cat's meow, the bees knees, etc.

Anywho - now that I got that out, let's discuss the rest of what is going on with me. Hitting the Braves game on Sunday and super stoked because The Avett Brothers are playing after the game. Word.

Also, I have lost 12 lbs! I am super stoked and I am just going to continue doing what I am doing. It really gave me a boost to see that the working out and eating better was starting to show. My new goal is to lose 10 more pounds by the end of May, I am really hoping that it will be quicker, but I wanted to make sure the goal was attainable.

Thinking about signing up on eHarm. I am ready to find someone that appreciates me and I don't think I am going to find that at a bar. Not to mention that after spending some time in the Highlands last month, I fear I have aged out of that scene. Not that I apparently look it - last Sat my friend S and I were out in Downtown Roswell (I know, a rager - ha ha ha) and these girls next to us thought they were older. When I said 'I am 35' you should have seen her face drop - she was totally 28.

Best get back to the work now...

xoxo!

Currently Listening To...

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

Great song - do yourself a favor and watch this: Click Here

Full lyrics:


No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Test Results - FAILED!!!!

FAIL!

I decided to see how I was doing on the possible transition of John to friend. The answer is - NOT there yet...

Here is what happened:

1. Sent exploratory text
2. Received witty and cute response
3. I laughed - loudly
4. became all glowy
5. FAILED

Guess it isn't time yet and wondering if it really ever will be. It is hard when you find someone that you feel enriches your life and they don't feel the same way back. Or don't feel the same way back enough to actually let themselves take the next step.

I always become really introspective on Thursdays because that use to be our guaranteed date of the week. I always really miss the fun we had and all of the intimacy. Thankfully each week is getting better - I am just ready to be over it.