Status Update

For the most part, things are really starting to look up for me and I am moving on with my life. I just wish I could stop thinking about how I miss John. Honestly, looking back I can say that the relationship did not fulfill me and that I ignored the red flags that I saw throughout because I wanted it to work.

I really liked him so I lead with my heart and I don't regret it. Do I still fantasize that he will come back around to tell me that he realizes that his life was better with me in it - of course. However, the more I think about it, the more I would hope that I would politely decline to have him back romantically in mine.

Why I have been giving this so much thought, I have no idea - I know that he is NEVER going to say anything remotely close to the delusion above, but here are the reasons...

1. He would seriously have to be open to there being a future in the relationship and (wait for it) a commitment. I think even typing the word would probably give him heart palpitations.

2. Sometimes I think maybe he has a slightly derogatory view of women by some of his comments. Most recently he made some crap comment about how the decision making in women was ridiculous. This was because I mentioned I had picked the Rangers to beat the BoSox because CJ Wilson was pitching and he amused me on Twitter. Then he even went so far to ask me which color uniform I liked better. Don't even get me started on his comments about women drivers (though I do agree that many of them suck the big one).

3. I just don't think he is the man for me. I have to wonder if he even knows what love is or has ever been in love. I want someone that thinks I am the cat's meow, the bees knees, etc.

Anywho - now that I got that out, let's discuss the rest of what is going on with me. Hitting the Braves game on Sunday and super stoked because The Avett Brothers are playing after the game. Word.

Also, I have lost 12 lbs! I am super stoked and I am just going to continue doing what I am doing. It really gave me a boost to see that the working out and eating better was starting to show. My new goal is to lose 10 more pounds by the end of May, I am really hoping that it will be quicker, but I wanted to make sure the goal was attainable.

Thinking about signing up on eHarm. I am ready to find someone that appreciates me and I don't think I am going to find that at a bar. Not to mention that after spending some time in the Highlands last month, I fear I have aged out of that scene. Not that I apparently look it - last Sat my friend S and I were out in Downtown Roswell (I know, a rager - ha ha ha) and these girls next to us thought they were older. When I said 'I am 35' you should have seen her face drop - she was totally 28.

Best get back to the work now...

xoxo!