A Whole New World

I woke up this morning, refreshed and ready to tackle the day. The only upsetting thing is that I did think it was Wednesday and then I realized it was Tuesday...

Anyway, I feel like a whole new world is about to open up to me. I have been able to reconnect with old friends over the last couple of months, make some great new friends and as always keep the closest ones close.

Getting back to running has made me feel great, I love waking up in the morning and feeling that my muscles have been worked. The spin class April and I found is amazing and now I just need to make sure to add some weight training and yoga into the mix. It is great to feel like you have some more choices in your closet because things are fitting better. Just gotta keep up the good work...

This weekend marks the start of 'Festival Season' in Atlanta and I am ready to get out there and check out the art, the bands playing and of course hopefully scope out some hotties! This weekend Sarah and I will be hitting the Sweetwater 420 Fest and then Sunday Melaney and I are planning on Dogwood!

Oh - did I mention I am also pretty much kickin' it at the office?

Let me leave you with a little gem from the Disney classic Aladdin...

Status Report

It is amazing the perspective you can get on a past relationship and your feelings when you spend time around someone who really finds you amazing. Yesterday I went to the Braves game with Sam. I have known Sam for over 15 years, the first 10 years we were very good friends and then when I got back from LA, we decided to start dating. Needless to say, there were many issues and in the end we really just didn't work out.

It has been a little difficult the last 2.5 years to keep our friendship intact. I know I had unresolved feelings, some of them thinking that maybe he was my last chance. One good thing that has come out of the relationship with John is that I realized I really didn't have romantic feelings for Sam and at that same time he contacted me and said he really missed our friendship.

Anyway, I know that I am going around my ass to get to my elbow here, but I wanted to give a little bit back story.

So, yesterday he picked me up and we headed to Turner Field. At first there was a little bit of awkwardness because we had not seen each other in about a year. However, we soon fell into very easy communication. It is amazing how much Sam likes to build me up. From telling me how amazing I look, to knowing exactly what type of music I like, etc.

With John, I always felt like he was judging me in a negative way. Like I wasn't good enough from him - now I just realize that he was not good enough for me. The last couple of weeks have been a real eye opener about the relationship I had with him. We communicate and even over texts, he says things I feel just tear me down a bit. Last night we were texting and I decided to give him a quick call - he sent me straight to voice mail. Seriously, you don't want to have a 5 minute conversation about scotch, fine.

I woke up this morning with a great sense of release. I think I can say that I am truthfully over wanting anything romantic with John. I feel better than I have in a LONG time, we are talking years. I have no regrets at all, because I can honestly say so many good things came out of the relationship.

Upward and onward folks!

Test Results - FAILED!!!!

FAIL!

I decided to see how I was doing on the possible transition of John to friend. The answer is - NOT there yet...

Here is what happened:

1. Sent exploratory text
2. Received witty and cute response
3. I laughed - loudly
4. became all glowy
5. FAILED

Guess it isn't time yet and wondering if it really ever will be. It is hard when you find someone that you feel enriches your life and they don't feel the same way back. Or don't feel the same way back enough to actually let themselves take the next step.

I always become really introspective on Thursdays because that use to be our guaranteed date of the week. I always really miss the fun we had and all of the intimacy. Thankfully each week is getting better - I am just ready to be over it.

Turning the Corner

I think today is the day I am officially turning the corner from heartbroken to resurrected. Even though I hated that I contacted him via email, I think it is the best thing I could have done. I know that nothing is going to be different, I know that he is never going to fight to have me in his life and I feel better being able to shut the door on any possibilities I had in my head.

I did just sent him one last email with all the things I wanted to say and didn't get the chance. To be completely honest, for the most part it was very complimentary on his character. Though I am sure he has no idea what to make of it.

One point I did make was that many times his actions did not match his words and I chose to look at those actions instead of the words. I did let him know I had no regrets because the past few months had been totally fun and I learned things about myself that I never thought I would. Who would ever of thought that I would enjoy waiting on someone and seeing the smile when I did?

While I am sure there will be a few more days where I get sad:

I am ready to officially open the next chapter in my life and I think I am finally open to finding the right guy. I have been a commitmentphobe for so long and never opened up to the guys I have dated in the past. It is now on!

Now accepting applications!