With the death of any relationship in your life, there is a lot of self reflection about what happened or what went wrong. At the same time, there are many things that you realize that are important for your personal growth.
For me, with this relationship I realized how I have treated all of the guys before J and how I was at this time experiencing what we call karma. Thinking back on the guys I actually let into my life, I realized that I always held them at arm's length - just the same way that J was holding me away from him.
I realized that I was never open to really being with someone. Of course, the reasons were different every time, but they were still there. First because he was in college and I was still in high school. Once because he had children and I was clear that children of any kind were not in my future at that time. Again because I thought there could be something better out there.
J held me at arm's length and it hurt, but I learned that I can let someone in. Maybe I needed this heartbreak so the next time the right guy was there, or when the right guy was there, I would be able to let them in. That I will be able to understand the greatness that had come into my life.
All I hope now is that I will be able to recognize it and not use this heartbreak as a reason to again put someone at arm's length.
Showing posts with label Being Loved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being Loved. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2011
Yes, I am loved
Today I walked into my office and this is the first thing I saw:
The post-it read: Katie, I hope this brings back your smile.
It is amazing the support that I have been receiving this week from my wonderful friends. Even from someone that I have not known that long, but that I now know will be a friend for life. I was so touched by the gesture that I started crying and even now have tears in my eyes as I type this post.
In other fantastic news, I learned that one of my best friends is finally moving back to the Atlanta area. The last time we were in the same city was our apartment in the 90210 - a place where we not only solidified our high school friendship but grew it into something that I would be lost without in my life. She really is my sister from another mother... Welcome home Amy - can't wait for you and yours to arrive back in the ATL!
I might feel that this break up has given me many lemons, but I sure am enjoying the damn delicious lemonade.
I love you all!
K
The post-it read: Katie, I hope this brings back your smile.
It is amazing the support that I have been receiving this week from my wonderful friends. Even from someone that I have not known that long, but that I now know will be a friend for life. I was so touched by the gesture that I started crying and even now have tears in my eyes as I type this post.
In other fantastic news, I learned that one of my best friends is finally moving back to the Atlanta area. The last time we were in the same city was our apartment in the 90210 - a place where we not only solidified our high school friendship but grew it into something that I would be lost without in my life. She really is my sister from another mother... Welcome home Amy - can't wait for you and yours to arrive back in the ATL!
I might feel that this break up has given me many lemons, but I sure am enjoying the damn delicious lemonade.
I love you all!
K
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