Finally realizing how angry I am - angry at myself for allowing him to treat me that way and at him for treating me that way...
I think for so long I didn't want to be wrong about what type of guy you really are, but you know - you are just a wolf in sheep's clothing. The fact that you have deluded yourself to think anything different just goes to show how fucked up you really are.
What a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had the self esteem when we were first dating to stick by my original thought that you weren't good enough if you flubbed NYE. Which you did. Especially after you were the one who asked what we were doing. I just don't understand how you could treat me the way you did when we were together and have NO feelings.
Thankfully I have seen the light and I am working on moving past it. I really hope I can move past the anger I have at myself for being such an idiot. I figure the first step is admitting it.
First step - check.
For the record, I totally feel like Richard Gere in the bathtub Pretty Woman style...
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